


Wise men say, fools think about it

by Kasimere



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bittersweet, Character Study, F/M, Love is hard, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Pointless, Varric loves Hawke but and Hawke loves Varric but they never act on it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 05:12:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17318672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasimere/pseuds/Kasimere
Summary: Their story didn’t really have an ending, no resolution or pay off.





	Wise men say, fools think about it

_Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin_

_If I can’t help falling in love with you?_

She leaned over the desk instead of taking the chair like any normal person would, he didn’t need to be facing her to know her finger was currently brushing so very close to the fresh ink as she read under her breath.

                He waved a casual hand whilst adjusting his boot at the edge of the bed. _It’s nothing revolutionary, just a few edits._ She looked back at him with a mischievous smirk. _People notice the little things, Varric._ Little things like her ass staring him in the face as she turned back around to continue her review. Not that he was into that, into humans, into anyone else- but, still, he swore she did this all on purpose.

                If he were an honest dwarf, he’d admit he’d been thinking less about Bianca recently. Whenever he was in the Hanged Man, watching Hawke in a giddy fit of laughter as she bumped her hip playfully against the elf’s shoulder to make him dance with her. Something was going to happen there, he could see it. The way the Fenris would look after her after she gave up and sauntered back to the bar with only the smallest tip sideways. Not that he minded, but in those moments, he’d not be thinking of the woman he’d left behind with the heaviest heart he thought he could carry. No, he’d be thinking that he’d been wrong before. It could definitely get so much heavier.

Hawke would be biting her bottom lip whilst concentrating on a map, she’d be casually dismissing a threat from whoever’d decided to try and threaten them that day, hell, she’d be crushing a bandit in a magical prison with a look of sheer glee and he’d find himself captivated. He wasn’t going to kid himself, this wasn’t just admiration, nor was it some perverted desire to find her on top of him one day. It was somewhere in the middle, he just wanted her there. Whatever they were doing wouldn’t matter, it wasn’t lust, and it wasn’t just friendship, he had no idea what it was.

She broke him out of his thoughts when she stood up, rotating her neck with a satisfyingly horrible clicking sound. _I’m no publisher, but I like it._ She joked less when it came to his work, and he couldn’t decide whether he liked that or not. Sure, he didn’t want her to tear him apart but something about her tameness rubbed him up the wrong way. It wasn’t like she was coddling him, she didn’t want to offend him maybe?

As if she could.

 

 

_Like a river flows surely to the sea_

_Darling so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be_

The Hawke estate was comfortable, and never short of guests. Even with Leandra gone, the place didn’t seem lonely. Hawke had put up Bodahn and his weird kid, there was something about him that made Varric think the kid saw more than he was supposed to, creepy in a way. The servant girl she’d hired had basically become part of the family, coming out her shell to occasionally sit with them and silently stifle a laugh at Hawke’s bombastic revellings of their ‘adventures’. They’d all gather around the fire and spend some time together that thankfully involved less fighting, walking, and coin; home-brew was cheaper than the swill they’d ingest anywhere else. They were the nights he’d try to commit to memory, place them in the good part of his soul to look upon later, just in case this didn’t last forever.

                Tonight, wasn’t one of those nights, it had started out much the same, but people left early and soon it was just him, Hawke, and the elf left in the main room. Hawke was sprawled across the settee with Fenris leaning against the arm closest to her head.

                They’d been talking the night away, conversations stretching from serious to absurd, several empty bottles of wine between them but the night had slowed to a comfortable silence. He was taking an appreciative look at her half-lidded eyes when her hand snaked from upholstery towards the elf, who jolted from his tired haze. He tilted his head back, barely meeting her eyes, and slowly his hand came up to rest over hers. A small smile on his face.

                Varric smiled too.

 

 

_Take my hand_

_Take my whole too_

_For I can’t help falling in love with you_

Their story didn’t really have an ending, no resolution or pay off. She left him Adamant, he’d been sat next to the kid who was rocking back and forth in a manner far less violent that it had been just hours before. He was shaken up, they all were, but Varric took some care to make sure he was okay, as it seemed no one else thought to. He’d had his hand pressed against his achingly bony back when she came towards them.

                The kid’s head snapped up in that unnatural way of his, Varric didn’t have to look to know his eyes were probably far off and glazed over. Before he could say anything, Hawke held a finger to her lips and shook her head. _No telling._ The kids mouth snapped shut, and his rocking stilled. _Oh._ He stood up, and Varric nearly followed him if it wasn’t for a quick shake of a hat. The kid looked down at him, he didn’t smile, he never seemed to smile; but his mouth twitched. Like he knew the answer to a question Varric had been asking himself for years and didn’t even know it. Then he left them, wandering off towards the Inquisitor and the rest of the group.

                It was Hawke's turn to look down at him now, but it didn’t last long, with a heavy sigh she deposited herself next to him in the space where Cole had been. There was a silence, where she looked out towards the rubble with a half-smile on her face. How she could sit there, in this place, with that expression, he didn’t even know. So instead, he broke the silence with a stupid _Bet our brooding friend is scared shitless, wondering where you are._ Hawke snorted, not looking at him, then looking at him, for a long time. _He knows, he knows a lot of things._ Maker knew what that meant. She extended a hand out in front of her and he automatically took it, and wished he were not wearing his gloves.

 Something should’ve been said, but it wasn’t. They both knew, excuses wouldn’t cut it, and there was no finality to be found here. She leaned against him then, with her eyes shut and her breaths even. He leaned into her, his eyes glued to their hands. This wasn’t the first time they’d done this, and he hoped it wouldn’t be the last.

After a while, she stood. Cracking her neck in a way she knew would make him wince. Tapping her staff on the ground, she bid him a cheery goodbye and a kiss on the cheek. _You won’t be rid of me just yet, dwarf._ She’d said in his ear before giving him a mock salute and turning to make her way down the beaten stairs of the fortress.

He laughed, laughed a little, then laughed so hard he had to cover his face with one hand.

 _I don’t understand,_ Cole said and Varric sighed moving up, so the boy could reclaim his seat.

“I don’t understand either, kid.”  

**Author's Note:**

> It's 02:40am, and I wrote this in one feverish go. But I'll probably come back to this to edit it properly in the morning. Or not, if this note is still here, ya'll know.


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